incredibly specific kitchen gadgetry

My brother got us a SodaStream for Christmas. That's totally out of left field. Outside of, maybe Sweden, I know of only one person who has ever woken up and wished for a SodaStream machine. And that guy was kinda only joking. According to Wikipedia, 20 percent of Swedish households own one of these things. And no kidding. Look at the happy family on this ad insert! Target audience, much?

Let's also not forget Scarlett Johanssan, ex-Oxfam Ambassador, forced to retire her spot due to an ill-advised star turn in a SodaStream ad. Why? I look it up. It's because of the company's continued operation of its factory in an Israeli settlement. Oh Israel and Palestine. I won't ever forget you - the land of religious time zones. There is so much finger pointing in that place. And to stop it, they're all just trying to cut off each other's hands. Honestly. That's my sophisticated political analysis. You're welcome.

Rob gets busy carbonating water. There's a gas canister you shove and screw into the machine. Then you press down on the top of the SodaStream until it makes a startling noise; like a car shuddering or a really loud fart. The more you hear the noise, the fizzier your water gets. You want your SodaStream to threaten you with bodily harm, that's how hard you have to press down.

  

I do the taste testing. Sparkly. More sparkly. So fizzy I burp immediately. 

Then he gets fancy with the syrups. You think it'll get more exciting than the farting noises the machine makes when you're carbonating the water. It doesn't. Because all you do with the syrup is pour it into the water you just fizzed up. We scavenge for old glass bottles to hoard our new sodas. Diet Cola. Lemon lime. Orange. They taste...fizzy. With a kind of...robotic taste afterwards. It's like nothing nature ever intended to make on purpose. 

Finally, at the back of the refrigerator, there's a bottle of Aroha Elderflower Cordial. I think we've had this for a year. I went through a phase of drinking it with gin and...get this...sparkling tonic. Luck we've got this SodaStream! The cordial gets dumped in and the water is pumped full of bubbles. This one is a hit! 

One night after dinner at Hong Kong Barbeque, my family comes over to peer at the SodaStream machine. I kid you not. We extend an invite that literally goes Come see the SodaStream machine! and people came. Rob is the master of SodaStream ceremonies. Everyone has a look. Then we all drink our sodas from champagne saucers, left over from our wedding. Swank!   

The SodaStream currently sits on our kitchen bench, taking up about as much space as a blender. We have medium-sized plans for it. There's Coffee Supreme Coffee Syrup to try. As well as all those other, expensive Six Barrel Soda Co. syrups that I've always wanted because of the packaging.